5AM

When 5AM comes, I tiptoe out of the house
And revel in the stillness of the morning when breath is dew
For seasons I imagined I was trapped on either side, with fitful sleep and nighttime duties but
Here I am - we are at peace

The reluctant father's serenity prayer

Please give me longsuffering, God, so I can smile when things don’t go my way.

You can't go back again

There’s no turning back. When that big Parenthood Switch flips on in your life, you are tossed into every conceivable life change you can imagine. Your time is no longer your own. Your sleep is interrupted, infrequent and faked. Money flies away faster than you can say Baby Wipes On Amazon Prime. Your little one, bless his dear heart, happens to be a fearsome night terror, the cutest man on the face of the planet, and the darkest mystery you will ever encounter.

The night tiger

The past six weeks have been nearly blissful. You’ve surprised us all, son, to learn that you are actually a rather happy baby when you’re not uncomfortable. I’ve surprised myself too, feeling intense fondness for you in your moments of simple, unbridled joy. What a difference from the first few harrowing months.

Quickly does it change

We came back home from your baptism last Sunday and you could not stop laughing, screeching with joy for twenty minutes (or what felt like forever).

Notes to my son

I.

When you first arrived I took you in my arms and I prayed over your life that you would grow strong, because you were so small, unexpectedly early.